I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
