my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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