some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
