i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
