You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i drank out of a bidet.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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