Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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