Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
