the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i was born a porn star she said
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Text me some of your sweat
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