Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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