Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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