i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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