I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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