making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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