Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
