had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
