Who wears a wallet chain?!
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
