theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
