Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
