I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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