I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
