she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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