he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
