Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
