Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
