we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
she smelled like a LAN party
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
