Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
