Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
