This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
