piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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