Say something about gay babies.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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