He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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