i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
