we have pet lesbian snakes
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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