I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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