But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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