Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Randomize
