none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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