i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
