C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
