We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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