Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize