Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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