Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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