i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
