What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
