It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
