I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
