I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
