Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize