worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
