I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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