I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Bring me that man meat
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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