I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
