she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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