i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We left an ass print on the piano.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
