Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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