I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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