I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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