no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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