He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
