3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
