OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
